Getting it Back

The first thing to come back as I have been working through my grief and getting accustomed to a life where my responsibilities are focused more on my children than my parents was my ability to read and respond to emails. I go through about 100 a day, with the work on the conference, my science lab, Roots&Shoots group, homeschooling support group and family group. For a while there, I couldn't even open my email unless it was from one of my siblings concerning my father's health, his death, my mother's progress, the planning of the upcoming service, the obituaries circling the globe. Slowly, I was able to read, respond and act on messages that came through. Just in the nick of time, given the conference is six weeks away!

The second thing was my organizing mojo. In my real life, I'm a stickler for loose ends being tied up and good at follow through. For the past year and a half, since my father's condition worsened in the summer of 2008, organizing anything other than my parents' life has taken the back burner. I'm glad to say that is behind me and I can multi-task organizing homeschooling, our household, finances, my mother, the conference, our increasingly complicated activity calendar and everything else life has thrown in my way.

Then my love of exercise came back. Hallelujah! While I'm advised not to get on the treadmill anymore, I can spend 45 minutes on the bike and come away feeling happy, rested and relieved. I've rediscovered my connection between wheat and inflammation and hope to get back on that treadmill very soon, or at least mix it up with the bike and the elliptical.

And now my knitting has come back! I did nothing but easy things for the past year, ever since Mark's last cabled birthday sweater was finished. Many socks, a baby hat and cardigan, lots of stockinette and ribbing. Now I'm brave enough to tackle brain-feeding knitting. I bought the yarn for this sweater vest for Mark's birthday in July and started it last week. It's been a wonderfully quick and interesting knit so far.

Hoping for my weaving mojo to kick in soon, I still have a few minutes left in each day.

New Muse, Old Muse

I've started weaving again, after a long hiatus. My return to my old favorite art form was facilitated in part by my massive cleaning of the kids bedrooms. Once all the broken and unused toys, the long unread books, outgrown clothes and general junk was removed, I discovered that the boys room could really use a couple of chairs and a rug. I'm not all that into chair making, but have been saving old clothes and fabric for years, limiting myself to one giant Rubbermaid tub each for woven, knits and denim.

I took five pairs of Mark's old pants, put them in a dye bath so that each is a slightly different shade of denim blue, cut and stripped them, dressed the loom and began weaving. Dressing the room is a daunting task after three or four years off. Despite rereading my instructions, and with many interruptions, it took the better part of a week to get the warp wound and beamed. Even though I checked a few times, I managed to cross some threads in the heddle and did not admit to this until I had a good foot or two woven. Not being a perfectionist, I cut the threads and called it a design element. This left three threads loose at the back beam, so I weighted them with toys I found lying around. They look cute dangling there, don't they?

Another reason or the weaving is that I have two pairs of socks on needles, both knitted from the cuff down, both at the most boring part - past the heel and heading to the toe. All I have to look forward to is the toe and that doesn't hold enough interest. I could have just cast on another pair with different needles (I do two at a time on two circulars), but realized how ridiculous this is. So, I'm weaving when at home and knitting on the instep when I'm not. My blog has been suffering for the weaving, though. I have many, many projects lined up in my head now that I have the weaving bug back!

Ta Da!

Probably the only good thing about us being sick for so long was that I was finally able to finish Mark's cabled sweater. Just in time for spring to arrive! He has managed to wear it on a few cool mornings, but a nice worsted weight wool isn't going to work again until November, I should think. Luckily he has been the same size and shape for years.

It was a really fun knit - Kathy Zimmerman's Rhapsody in Tweed. My only real problem was in reading the directions. I took Mark's measurements as the finished size and produced a cabled sausage casing.

Before seaming it together - and how I hate seaming - I added this garter edging from both sides and did a three needle bind off. That way I could add a few inches and avoid doing a side seams. It made the armhole and sleeves a bit trickier but was the right decision in the end. Only another knitter would notice my mistake, and only then if looking at Mark's armpit.

I'm not so afraid of seaming now and will keep my mind open to patterns in pieces. Seamless knitting seems so much more fluid, but a busy pattern like this would wind up with a jog anyway.

Go me!

Obsessions

I've been thinking a lot about obsessions lately. Obsessing about it, even. Not compulsions, not addictive behavior, but the kind of intense interest in something that compels you to focus on little else.

Large has been obsessive about stop animation for the last few days. Brought on by the Flip digital video camera they received for Christmas and a desire to make movies with his Lego guys, he took 400 pictures of Lego scenes and has been working with Scratch to get them into a movie. It's slow going, he's figuring it all out himself. It's highly frustrating at times, but he gets a special joy when he figures something out - even when it means the past few hours worth of work was for naught - and rushes to tell me about it.

Medium has been obsessively baking for a couple of months. While this has the obvious negative effect on our collective waistlines, it's really a wonderful kitchen chemistry project. In fact, it has led to a request that we study chemistry. And the chain reaction searching through the library system and homeschooling resources to find suitable chemistry experiments for my clan. She wakes up in the morning and huddles with the cookbook her aunt gave her for Christmas. Hmm, muffins? Scones? Coconut cream cake? She's learned a lot about substitutions as she makes things our milk and egg allergic Small can eat, and how the different properties of these substitutes affect the outcome.

Small has been obsessed with all things knights and castles. He recently turned 5 (already!) and received many new knights and weapons of mass destruction from the middle ages. We have this set up in the living room, drawing in the older children to his world of imaginative play. His Nintendo DS has been in the car since Friday, probably not good for the device, but he has been unwilling to go out and get it. No need when you have a world full of guys with cross bows, axes, a catapult and siege tower to storm the castle.

As for me, my obsession runs along more predictable lines. I've started a new sweater for Mark. It's an interesting pattern full of cables, no two rows are alike. A fun knit, although I can tell the sleeves are going to be boring with just one mini-cable repeat running the length.

And I've been setting up grow boxes in the basement to reduce our rabbits' carbon footprint. I made them with LED puck lights inside of plastic tubs that came with baby wipes when the older two were babies. The lettuce and herbs are planted in yogurt cups and the water comes from the discharge from the house humidifyer. Very green. I have actual sprouts and plant to clear a shelf, put rope lights on there and grow it all in the basement. It's pretty cool and I hope it works. Now that we've cleaned out the basement and have room to use it as an actual, functioning part of the house, I'm filling it with a cool weather garden.

These healthy obsessions spark our collective desire to continue learning, to expand our horizons and stretch ourselves through frustration and disappointment to mastery of skills we value as individuals. It's a really good life.

I Get It

Only now do I understand. I've knitted 8 or 9 pairs of socks in the past year or two, happily giving them away to people who oohed and aahed over them. (Never knit something for someone who doesn't appreciate hand knits.) And then I read somewhere that a knitter really should knit every other project of so for themselves. What a concept! I decided to try it and these were the result.

Now I find myself looking in the clean laundry baskets, digging for the socks. They could have been a row or two longer to make them absolutely perfect, but the fit of hand kit socks is a real treat. No seams, no tightness, just the right amount of hug on both ankles - despite one being significantly wider than the other. I want to fill my sock drawer with hand knits! Save the store boughts for the gym.

Ambitions

Maybe mine are just not big enough, or not as clearly articulated. This video shows a project beyond belief in it's scope and beauty. Get a cup of coffee and enjoy.

Somewhat handmade Christmas

Now that everyone has opened their gifts, I can share my handiwork. The cabled mittens on the left went to my sister-in-law. It was a really fun pattern from Ravelry, quick and easy to knit. The socks went to my brother-in-law, my usual 3x1 rib pattern. Stretchy and functional. The yarn is Opal, purchased at my weaving shop before it closed this summer. Very fun knits, those two.

And then I violated one of the Yarn Harlot's rules of holiday knitting. I knit for someone who doesn't appreciate handmade things. Actually, my sister's daughter may very well appreciate the little bundles of joy I gave her in the form of a bunny and a monkey, but my sister did not. Lesson learned. Ordinary plastic stuff is better. The monkey was a really fun thing to knit as well, although next time I'll do the smaller version to shorten the boredom of the arms and legs. The pattern came from Blue Moon and featured an afterthought heel for the mouth and butt. Much fun.

And then came the fleece pajamas for my kids. This was extremely difficult as I'm not good at sewing and the kids are with me all the time. One of the few drawbacks of homeschooling is that you can't sneak in a handmade gift too easily. But I kicked them out of the house or banished them to other rooms to get them done. And now they are matching, except for the dots I put inside as labels to help in the laundry folding.

All in all, I've had a very creative year. It was one of my resolutions last year to do something creative each day. And except for the few weeks surrounding my father's hospitalization and major life change, I managed to do just that. I feel better for it and hope to keep up the habit in the years to come. All told, I knit seven pairs of socks (and I'm on the 8th), a hat and gloves, mittens, a lace scarf, a failed sweater for Mark, a bunny and a monkey. Need to update my Ravelry notebook, which is really handy for notes. That and I sewed the Halloween costumes, pants for Small, the pjs, and did some paper crafting. It's really healthy to keep the creative juices flowing.

Socks!

For the knitters out there, and I know you are out there, here's a funny, short movie to take your mind off your holiday knitting stress.




And now, back to the Christmas knitting.

Shameless Plug

If you're in town this week, or near Oak Park, please head over to Pleasant Home (at the corner of Pleasant and Home). This wonderful old house is holding it's annual artisans sale with some of the proceeds going to the upkeep, restoration and maintenance of this historic treasure. I have a few silly things in the sale, but there are many, more serious artists involved.

The sale starts with an open house on Sunday, December 7th from 1 to 4 and runs all the following week. You can visit an historic landmark and finish off your holiday shopping in one fell swoop!

Big-ish News

We interrupt the gift knitting marathon for an announcement. The other night at dinner, we had to bring out the Oxford English Dictionary. The OED at the dinner table was such a staple of my youth and early adulthood, I am elated the kids have reached the point where we could continue this tradition. The word we looked up - hobbledehoy - is pictured, our OED is the teeny-tiny print kind that required a magnifying glass. I remember looking up words without glasses as a kid. Now that was a long time ago.

Judging by my history, one of our children will now learn to swear emphatically and use this skill during long discussions of foreign policy. The resulting door slam wont be as effective as in my youth because of the distance between the bedrooms and the dining room, but that is just a small matter.

Almost done with the last knitted gift! I'll have to post pictures after the holidays.

Un-Ravelry

You've got to watch this! Found it blogging around:

Museum Day

Hah! Here's my picture from yesterday. Can't upload pictures from the faster upstairs computer sometimes. I wanted the picture to show that, occasionally, I really can knit with no problems. This is one of two toys I'm making for my niece for Christmas, there is little worry that my sister will read my blog and spoil the surprise.

With Mark's work schedule being nuts, I try to get the kids out of the house in the mornings so he can sleep. Yesterday we went to the Field Museum for the first time in, probably, three years. Large and Medium wanted a membership for their birthday in August, we just got around to doing that yesterday.

They have made a quantum leap in how they enjoy museums. Maybe they are just at that time of life when it is the most interesting. We went through the Evolving Plant exhibit, a permanent one, but new to us. It's the one with the dinosaurs. Small is really into dinosaurs lately, but was a bit frightened of the bones. The exhibit is great. Full of wonderful interactive bits, little movies explaining all sorts of things, touching things, reading things, looking things. I think they designed it to appeal to every possible learning style.

The kids were enthralled. They actually spoke with the volunteer docents, questioning, wondering. They read everything that interested them, watched the little movies, followed the time line, they were engaged the whole time. We had been there about an hour and a half when I was worried their interest was fading, but I was wrong. Before the dinosaur portion there was a short movie explaining a mass extinction that paved the way for the beasts. Afterwards there was another movie explaining the dinosaur extinction. These movies were projected on big screens in a separate room area with benches. When we got to the second movie, it was already playing, but we sat down to wait it out until the beginning of the loop. Large turned his back and covered his ears, not wanting to hear the end before the beginning. And then he sat for the whole six minutes, absorbing.

Of course, I didn't have my camera, so we don't have pictures of them with the apatasourus or with Lucy. Except for my cell phone pictures, which I'm not able to get off my cell phone. We'll be back. They wanted to go to another exhibit after 2 1/2 hours in the Evolving Planet, but they were hungry and wanted to see their Dad more.

While we were there, a high school field trip group was running around with clipboards and worksheets to fill out. They couldn't just look at what they wanted to, they had to answer questions. We joked about that and I threatened to give them a worksheet next time. Eye rolls all around, it was a funny moment.

Knitting Woes

Blogger wont let me put a picture in. Sigh. It kind of goes well with the problems I'm having on the knitting front lately.

I don't normally knit things that require seaming. I'm not good at it and don't enjoy it. But, it's a useful skill to have, so I did up a pattern for Mark's birthday. He got me the book for my birthday and I repaid the favor by giving him a box of yarn for his. He prefers cotton, but I may just have to sneak in some wool sometime soon.

The pattern - Arthur's Field of Dreams from The Natural Knitter, had problems. First the chart was wrong for the basket weave. Then there was the small problem of a stitch put on a safely pin in the middle of the v-neck and never resolved. I wove that in. Then came the horrible realization that, despite following the directions to the letter to get the lovely decreases in the v-neck, the front was a good three inches longer than the back. The final blow came when to make the increases work perfectly on the sleeves, I would have had to have been married to an orangutan.

Yes, I did a swatch. Yes, my gauge, both stitch and row, was right on. I ripped back the long bits, decreased rather inelegantly, blocked it on election night to measurements. I checked and rechecked the measurements as the thing dried on the dining room table and a card table in the living room. Then I did a couple of new to me techniques - nothing like a little something new to make me happy - a three needle bind off in the shoulders and an i-cord bind off at the back of the neck. And I seamed the whole thing up, threw it on Mark as he was headed out the door to work and realized the sweater was gargantuan. Big on me, even. I used Knit Picks Shine Worsted, which is a combination of cotton and a plant fibre called Modal. Huh. It's heavy. And the sweater stretched after blocking.

So, now I'm faced with the prospect of steeking it. I can't just throw it out and wont use the yarn again. It's big all over. I'll rework the neckline, which is very sloppy from the stretched yarn, to an i-cord bind off all around and than I'll steek. Yikes, machine seaming and cutting my knitting? Ravelry has saved my butt again, but I do hope to talk to someone who's done it first.

The kids have been witness to my trials and tribulations with this sweater. I'd like to think they are learning to roll with the changes life throws at you. Instead, I fear they may be learning a few words muttered under my breath not fit for their delicate (ha!) ears.

Can't knit

I can't remember being unable to knit. Except when the furnace went out and it was too cold in the house to knit. It's always been my stand by diversion, my fill in stress reliever, my tension tamer. Now I just can't do it. I look at the poor socks languishing since a week ago when my Dad went into the hospital and can't bring myself to pick them up. Unbelievable.

I haven't seen my kids in a week. I've never been away from my kids this long before. The longest was 36 hours when Large and Medium were 6 and 18 months. It's a very strange feeling to go from doing everything together, to doing nothing together. I miss them and Mark terribly.

The very same day my Dad went into the hospital, three other physical injuries occurred in my family. My oldest sister was in a cab accident on her way home from the airport, broke her nose and needed 8 stitches. Small had a run in with a bike and hasn't walked since, he has a sprain. I fell off a ledge killing bugs and sprained my good ankle. It's a full foot bruise. I just had it x-rayed, nothing is broken, but the doctor gave me a nifty new air cast, which gives me a lot of support and makes walking this enormous house easier.

The good news is that I was able to get away to have it looked at. The nurses and doctors asked why it took me a week to get it examined. I told them. Everyone has been here, in this middling, sandwiched position with young and old to tend to. Everyone looses themselves in the process. It's all about priorities, right?

8 Kids in a Yarn Shop

I recently received a gift certificate to a yarn shop as a thank you gift. This made me remember a 2 year old, unredeemed gift certificate which I had carefully tucked into Barbara Walker's Knitting From the Top. How I knew it was there and was able to locate the book is beyond me, but gives me hope for my brain's future.

I then happened on to a plan to go to the yarn shop, Chix with Stix, in Forest Park. It's not close to my house, which is why the first certificate had not been used up. That, and I had forgotten it. It is, however, very close to our Writer's Workshop activity at a friends home in Oak Park. I convinced Kim to go with me. She convinced Lori.

So, after my horrible attempt at parallel parking in a spot that a semi could have fit it, the three of us happy, homeschooling moms were lost in the bliss of a good yarn shop. Two of us were spending gift money, adding to our joy. The kids - 5 boys and 3 girls behaved remarkably well. It helps that the shop has a chihuahua and a comfy couch and a play area for the littlest of the bunch. The shop keepers tried not to be panicked by our presence. They weren't completely successful in that. But they were nice about it. And the kids didn't get in trouble until we left the store, laden with our new purchases. They were climbing the brick wall of the doctor's office next door. My little one was playing with the mail slot. Both those things were against the doctor's rules, and he came out to tell us so.

And this is what I purchased! Sock yarn for my sister in law - a yummy bamboo, cotton, elastic blend. After reading reviews on Ravelry, I learned the yarn can be short. Good thing Marsha has small feet! Another ball of sock yarn, and a fabulous sock knitting carry along bag. It's cute and convenient and totally not like me to indulge in something frivilous. I put my boy's socks in there and can't wait to knit in public with this bag. It's a very hip improvement over the zip lock bag. Or the plastic newspaper sleeve I used the other day.

The new yarns are sitting on my poor loom. My loom has been begging me to weave for some time. The rug on there is finished except for the hemming. Knitting has taken over my passion for it's portability, but weaving is something I need to return to. Soon. The rhythm of weaving and physical activity of it is much different than knitting. Soon.

Sock Adventures

A wonderful thing has happened in my knitting life lately. I have finally learned to knit two socks at once! After two pairs that came out a row off in length, bothering me greatly, a book I had requested from the our wonderful library came in. I've read books and tried different methods before, but somehow Knitting Circles Around Socks made it click for me. The instructions are very clear and after the first few rows I was hooked.

Those first few rows were difficult. I'm a rebellious knitter and don't read instructions well, skimming over what I think is superfluous but turns out to be critically important. My kids called it torture knitting as I cast on three times before getting it, complaining the whole time. After finishing the leg yesterday, I didn't open the book because I had remembered to do each heal separately. Imagine my shock when I got to the second heel and couldn't knit it because of the direction it was facing. Ripped it.

So, these socks will be identical in length, if not in pattern. The oldest picked out the yarn, mainly for its camouflage colors. It's mainly cotton, though, so not elastic at all. It's growing on me.

The other wonderful thing in my knitting world lately is Ravelry. I had signed up for a spot and got a password in February, but never spent the time to see what it was all about. Oh my. What a valuable resource for knitters! I looked up the sock yarn, got advice, saw pictures of completed projects and read reviews. I've looked up patterns I want to knit and have seen pictures of completed projects to determine if they will work, what yarn worked, etc.

All this has kept my mind off of the Little Man's complete, full body flare up. Looking through our pictures, I realized that it hits every year at the same time, his diet isn't the culprit in this case. Some kind of pollen. He's miserable. He's not sleeping, he's scratching all night long. We have a plan, it's improving slowly, but she's still waking up with bloody pjs. Sigh.

I need a Ravelry for eczema.

Many Thanks

I'd like to thank everyone for their nice comments both on and off blog about my little guy's disastrous hair cut. It's been a heart wrenching, soul searching kind of a week for me and everyone has really helped pull me through.

I still don't like it. Yes, he looks cute, but I don't like him bald. OK, bald may be a BIT of an exaggeration, but that's how I think of him. It doesn't help that his eczema has returned to the backs of his knees, wrists, elbows and more on his face. This keeps him up at night scratching, he gets an hour or two of sleep at a stretch and then whimpers through a scratching jag. He's tired. I'm tired.

So, what really pulled me through and changed my mood around? A combination of three things: my library which orders books from me whenever I want them, my husband who picked it up for me, and reading this fabulous book! Yes, a knitting book made me see the brighter side of life for the first time in a week. I'm seriously sick. This knitting thing if a force to be reckoned with. In the past week I've also read a great book called Knitting Lace, which shows all 91 patterns in a 19-century sampler. When I have time, I want to do the sampler, but I checked on Amazon and the book is out of print with the price at $131. Ouch. I also read Lace Style and have picked out a few patterns to knit in there.

Big Girl Knits is a wonderful book. I read the Knitty blog and magazine, so I knew a new book was out, but this one arrived at the library first. Now I need to own them both. I have an 80 pound weight swing, have been yo-yo-ing my since my late 20s and have never wanted to knit something like a sweater for myself until I'm at the right weight. Even at the right weight, I'll still be bigger than most patterns allow for, and the advice in here for fit is fabulous and funny. I highly recommend the book for all knitters, big or not. I poured over it until midnight last night, dreamt about great patterns to knit for me and woke every couple of hours to soothe my little guy through another itching episode.

A Tale of Two Socks

Actually, it's more like a tale of six or eight socks, three or four pairs. And a sad commentary on life in general. But that would have been too long and complicated a title.

I knit a pair of socks from stash yarn for my sister-in-law's birthday. I hadn't knit socks in a while, so it took some relearning, but was fun. I hope she likes them. This was right at the same time as the complicated scarf for my mother's birthday. It has been a knitting extravaganza here.

I bought the yarn several years ago from Knit Picks, on sale likely, and put it in my stash. My recent organizing bend has led me to discover many lovely yarns in my stash, I'm pretty intent on knitting them up before buying more yarn. There are only so many cubic inches of yarn storage space in my life and I'm learning to live within my limits.

With the leftover yarn, I am making socks for Little Missy. I'm hoping my math is right and there is enough yarn. Basic sock pattern from Ann Budd's basic book, I like ribbing all the way up to make it stretchy and comfortable.

While working on one sock, I saw a neighbor stroll by with a new baby. A new baby! I had no idea a new baby had been born on our block. How on earth could that have happened and I didn't know about it? How can a baby be born with no fanfare like that? Oh, I'm sure there was lots of private and family fanfare, but our block has always been close-knit, a community within a community. When I broke my ankle five years ago, we had dinner delivered on a schedule every other night for 6 weeks. Babies are announced with balloons on the front porch or a sign on the door. We visit, we chat, we offer to take the older kids, we make meals. It's that sort of a Mayberry-like place.

But this baby arrived and I didn't know about it for 9 weeks. Ouch. Even if it was February and even if the family is on the end of the block and pretty private, it just doesn't seem right. My youngest was born on a very cold January day (so cold the helium in the balloons shrivelled) and everyone knew about it. I'm pretty loud like that, though.

So, I blew through the first of the socks for my girl and quickly cast on a baby pair. I love these needles, the Bryson white ones, great flexibility and fast knitting. My t00-close-for-comfort knitting shop doesn't carry them anymore but special orders them for me when I ask. More stash yarn in a fun color pattern. I have another girly kind of color for a second pair and then I'll deliver them. I really don't want the mom to have gone back to work before I'm done, so everything else is on hold.

Except for Webkins Day. Nothing can stop that. Sadly.

Leap of Faith

I did it! I finished the lace scarf for my mother's birthday and she loved it. It really was a leap of faith to think that the curled, shriveled thing in my hands, barely 50 inches long, would turn into what it was supposed to. After binding off, I took a deep breath, submerged the thing, squeezed it between towels and pinned it to my bed. I almost cried.

All those yarn overs, the knit three togethers, the dreaded slip slip knits. And the new to me slip two, knit one, pass the two slipped overs. Mark tried not to be alarmed when I told him I had 30 hours of knitting left in 4 days. Of course, I didn't get that many hours in, what with our regular life schedule and all. (The house keeping has suffered considerably during this project.) But it turned out that blocking lengthened the piece considerably, nearly as long as my mother is tall.

And my mother really did love it. She realized how complicated it was to do, I don't think she personally has ever done lace knitting. This was my first lace piece. She had four kids, so her attention span was even further reduced from mine. I often make gifts for my family that aren't so appreciated. I do it because I love to make things and because of my rebellion over mass consumerism. (Find the pattern here.)

My mother is sadly confused lately, this present was for her 81st birthday. A bit of luxury for a woman who now almost never goes out except to the grocery store or to take my father to his doctor's appointments. Part of her confused state has to be from lack of sleep, part of it from dementia. My 81 year old father has Parkinsons' and cannot sleep for more than two hours at a time. In 24 hours he'll sleep a couple, wake a couple, sleep a couple, never a consistent stretch of sleep. He often needs help getting up, so my mother gets up with him.

Opening this gift, however, Mom was not unclear at all. She knew instantly what it was, the hours spent on it in concentrated effort, the beauty of the fine merino wool. She understoond and appreciated the effort. It was the perfect end to a fantastically fun and interesting knitting project. I could not have asked for more.

It took a whole lot of self control not to tell my mother that the artifical scalloping on the edges was a mistake in blocking. I didn't read beyond the instructions to soak, wring and pin. Didn't read to the point where the lace book said if you have a garter stitch boarder you can create unwanted scalloping by pinning and that the procedure should be to roll it on dowels between cupboards. Still don't get that, but I'll know not to have a garter stitch boarder again and not to be in such a rush.

I'm already hunting around for my next lace project.

In Sickness

This is what I do to stop myself from going out of my mind with worry when one of the kids is sick. I wouldn't say it's a conscious thing, but it's a consistent response. I've never done lace knitting before and this is a wonderfully complicated 10 row pattern repeat complete with every kind of yarn over and decreasing method possible. I found the pattern here at Knitty and it's for my mother's birthday. Her birthday is in a mere 2 weeks and it is taking me a little less than half an hour for a pattern repeat, but I've don't want to think too hard about that.

The yarn is a beautifully soft merino fingerling weight wool. It came from my friend Loise's stash after she died. Her family wanted all her knitting friends to have some to remember her by. It was such a loving gesture and really brings Loise back to me when I use her yarn. It came with a lace shawl pattern, but I didn't like the colorway of the three yarns together and have been keeping it hidden from any moth. As I'm on a stash reduction bender - must not bring new yarn into the house - I pulled this out and searched for something to do with it. I hated look of a simple lace pattern and channelled Louise telling me to try something harder.

I started knitting this 2 days ago when the little man was wheezing worse than he's ever wheezed before. Contemplating taking him to the ER and knowing what that would do to the poor kids, I took several deep breaths (OK, it might have been hyperventilating) and gave him two breathing treatments in a row. That cleared him for an hour. I sat with him most of the day - or one of the older two did - watching Robin Hood over and over and giving him treatments as needed. He made it longer and longer between treatments, going a full night and half the next day yesterday. He's almost fine now. Without the oral steroid to further compromise his weak immune system.

Knitting gives me an outward appearance of calm in such moments. My mind can't race and I can't verbalize every panic that hits my head when I'm counting my sl2-k1-p2ss0's. It's perfect concentration to ease my worry. Last time the kids all got the flu, twice, I taught myself cables. I can't weave when they are sick, because it needs to be portable enough to go on the bed with us. Weaving has the same calming effect.