Today, as most days, I went to my health club, Lifetime Fitness nearby in Burr Ridge. Actually, it's about 15 minutes away, there are a couple health clubs closer to me. I thought long and hard about which health club to join, my primary concern was my children. I needed a place that would grow with them, so a kids' place with only preschool toys was out. And I needed a place that would be safe for them.
The staff at Lifetime really seemed to understand food allergies. Every staff member is trained, they said. And we haven't had a problem for four years. We avoid party type activities where food is involved. But for camps and classes, they ask about allergies and specifically buy food that fits every child's parameters. Food is not allowed anywhere in the building except the party rooms and the cafe. Parents have always snuck food onto the pool deck (indoors and out) and into the locker room (yuck), but ever since the little man has been old enough to understand his allergies, I haven't been too concerned.
Today I only had the older two with me. They happily ran off into the Child Center, the staff said the play tubes and basketball court would be open in 15 minutes. I came back two hours later to find Little Missy in tears and unable to talk. My oldest told me that they had been keeping themselves alone in the back because the staff had been eating from a jar of nuts. My kids were literally standing there, crying, holding their hands in fists at their sides, afraid to do anything. My daughter had been suspicious of what the workers were eating and had gone up to read the label. She got as far as Mixed Nuts before running in terror. I got their shoes and escorted them out, asking one of the workers about the incident. She told me how sorry she was, but that it was their dinner. I tried to ascertain her level of understanding concerning food allergies and anaphylactic shock, but couldn't really see straight because of my anger and fear.
I intended to speak with the manager on the way out, my girl was still crying, however. Luckily, I saw the general manager, not the manager on duty, in one of the rooms and demanded to see him. After several deep breaths, I managed to convey my concern over the food in the child center without too much, too much. I pointed to my children way down the hall and said they they were two of my three highly allergic children and the reason they were crying was because the people I was paying to take care of them were putting them in danger. The general manager agreed there should be no food in the child center, that the staff is supposed to eat their meals in the break room and that he understood my concern. He promised to take care of the situation right then and have the child center manager call me tomorrow. We'll see.
Parents of food allergic children are often seen as fanatical. We don't want to eat your food, people! It is precisely the people who think we are crazy that we have to be fanatical about. From family members who can't be bothered to get out the reading glasses for the label, from friends who can never remember which food exactly can kill your child, to the disbelieving acquaintance who thinks just a little bit won't hurt. I've had other moms ask me how I can protect their child's right to have a peanut butter sandwich when my kid is near, heard grumblings on field trips or open gyms about how difficult it is to cut up cheese instead of making a PB&J, had people say "Oh, does that mean no Snickers?" I've had people in all seriousness tell me that my children will never be able to avoid peanuts and tree nuts for the rest of their lives. What do these people believe the alternative to be? I know what it is and it's not something I'm prepared for.
The last time my oldest reacted to peanut butter it was after he ran into a room, around a table with an open faced peanut butter sandwich on it, and out again. He was in the room for less than a minute and his entire face swelled up. Imagine if he had been in the room for longer. Imagine if he had eaten it. Yes, I protect my kids from this. I ask people to wash their hands after eating nuts, and have had people believe this to be rude or silly. Even a doctor! Which just goes to show you that those who should have the knowledge don't always use it.
But today my kids couldn't speak up for themselves, couldn't ask these people in a position of authority over them to page me, to get them to a safe place. The staff they have trusted for four years to keep them safe was now threatening them. They are only 8 and 9 years old and they were being put in a horrible position. I'm just grateful they did see what the staff was eating. What if they hadn't known? What if then the staffer had high-fived them on the basketball court and then they had rubbed their eyes or put their fingers in their mouths? What if they had been babies needing to be picked up? No, it probably wouldn't have killed them the way that ingesting peanuts would, but they would have needed medical intervention. The epipen was up front at the check-in, but would they have known to use it? Or how to use it?
So, I can't sleep because I can't keep my kids safe. If I had the space, I'd buy a treadmill and some weights and give up my steam room. If I had the money, I'd hire a babysitter in the afternoons. But I don't. And that doesn't leave me good options if Lifetime can't make me feel confident in their training and policies. Food allergies are a disability and are covered by the Americans With Disabilities Act. There are handicapped parking spots out front, they must make accommodations for my kids' allergies. The problem is that all the policies and training in the world are only as good as those implementing it. There has been a lot of staff turnover in the child center over the past six months. Even if the law protects us, I have to have a comfort level with the protection.
The staff at Lifetime really seemed to understand food allergies. Every staff member is trained, they said. And we haven't had a problem for four years. We avoid party type activities where food is involved. But for camps and classes, they ask about allergies and specifically buy food that fits every child's parameters. Food is not allowed anywhere in the building except the party rooms and the cafe. Parents have always snuck food onto the pool deck (indoors and out) and into the locker room (yuck), but ever since the little man has been old enough to understand his allergies, I haven't been too concerned.
Today I only had the older two with me. They happily ran off into the Child Center, the staff said the play tubes and basketball court would be open in 15 minutes. I came back two hours later to find Little Missy in tears and unable to talk. My oldest told me that they had been keeping themselves alone in the back because the staff had been eating from a jar of nuts. My kids were literally standing there, crying, holding their hands in fists at their sides, afraid to do anything. My daughter had been suspicious of what the workers were eating and had gone up to read the label. She got as far as Mixed Nuts before running in terror. I got their shoes and escorted them out, asking one of the workers about the incident. She told me how sorry she was, but that it was their dinner. I tried to ascertain her level of understanding concerning food allergies and anaphylactic shock, but couldn't really see straight because of my anger and fear.
I intended to speak with the manager on the way out, my girl was still crying, however. Luckily, I saw the general manager, not the manager on duty, in one of the rooms and demanded to see him. After several deep breaths, I managed to convey my concern over the food in the child center without too much, too much. I pointed to my children way down the hall and said they they were two of my three highly allergic children and the reason they were crying was because the people I was paying to take care of them were putting them in danger. The general manager agreed there should be no food in the child center, that the staff is supposed to eat their meals in the break room and that he understood my concern. He promised to take care of the situation right then and have the child center manager call me tomorrow. We'll see.
Parents of food allergic children are often seen as fanatical. We don't want to eat your food, people! It is precisely the people who think we are crazy that we have to be fanatical about. From family members who can't be bothered to get out the reading glasses for the label, from friends who can never remember which food exactly can kill your child, to the disbelieving acquaintance who thinks just a little bit won't hurt. I've had other moms ask me how I can protect their child's right to have a peanut butter sandwich when my kid is near, heard grumblings on field trips or open gyms about how difficult it is to cut up cheese instead of making a PB&J, had people say "Oh, does that mean no Snickers?" I've had people in all seriousness tell me that my children will never be able to avoid peanuts and tree nuts for the rest of their lives. What do these people believe the alternative to be? I know what it is and it's not something I'm prepared for.
The last time my oldest reacted to peanut butter it was after he ran into a room, around a table with an open faced peanut butter sandwich on it, and out again. He was in the room for less than a minute and his entire face swelled up. Imagine if he had been in the room for longer. Imagine if he had eaten it. Yes, I protect my kids from this. I ask people to wash their hands after eating nuts, and have had people believe this to be rude or silly. Even a doctor! Which just goes to show you that those who should have the knowledge don't always use it.
But today my kids couldn't speak up for themselves, couldn't ask these people in a position of authority over them to page me, to get them to a safe place. The staff they have trusted for four years to keep them safe was now threatening them. They are only 8 and 9 years old and they were being put in a horrible position. I'm just grateful they did see what the staff was eating. What if they hadn't known? What if then the staffer had high-fived them on the basketball court and then they had rubbed their eyes or put their fingers in their mouths? What if they had been babies needing to be picked up? No, it probably wouldn't have killed them the way that ingesting peanuts would, but they would have needed medical intervention. The epipen was up front at the check-in, but would they have known to use it? Or how to use it?
So, I can't sleep because I can't keep my kids safe. If I had the space, I'd buy a treadmill and some weights and give up my steam room. If I had the money, I'd hire a babysitter in the afternoons. But I don't. And that doesn't leave me good options if Lifetime can't make me feel confident in their training and policies. Food allergies are a disability and are covered by the Americans With Disabilities Act. There are handicapped parking spots out front, they must make accommodations for my kids' allergies. The problem is that all the policies and training in the world are only as good as those implementing it. There has been a lot of staff turnover in the child center over the past six months. Even if the law protects us, I have to have a comfort level with the protection.
2 comments:
That is horrible. I'm so glad your kids are so on top of the situation and so sorry they had to get freaked out. I certainly hope the manager called you back and got his policy conveyed clearly to the staff this time!
Thanks for agreeing with me! I'll update when the situation is resolved. The Child Center head did call me, we've been playing phone tag. She was very concerned and I do believe this was a lapse in judgement by some staff members, not a change in policy.
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