In Sickness

This is what I do to stop myself from going out of my mind with worry when one of the kids is sick. I wouldn't say it's a conscious thing, but it's a consistent response. I've never done lace knitting before and this is a wonderfully complicated 10 row pattern repeat complete with every kind of yarn over and decreasing method possible. I found the pattern here at Knitty and it's for my mother's birthday. Her birthday is in a mere 2 weeks and it is taking me a little less than half an hour for a pattern repeat, but I've don't want to think too hard about that.

The yarn is a beautifully soft merino fingerling weight wool. It came from my friend Loise's stash after she died. Her family wanted all her knitting friends to have some to remember her by. It was such a loving gesture and really brings Loise back to me when I use her yarn. It came with a lace shawl pattern, but I didn't like the colorway of the three yarns together and have been keeping it hidden from any moth. As I'm on a stash reduction bender - must not bring new yarn into the house - I pulled this out and searched for something to do with it. I hated look of a simple lace pattern and channelled Louise telling me to try something harder.

I started knitting this 2 days ago when the little man was wheezing worse than he's ever wheezed before. Contemplating taking him to the ER and knowing what that would do to the poor kids, I took several deep breaths (OK, it might have been hyperventilating) and gave him two breathing treatments in a row. That cleared him for an hour. I sat with him most of the day - or one of the older two did - watching Robin Hood over and over and giving him treatments as needed. He made it longer and longer between treatments, going a full night and half the next day yesterday. He's almost fine now. Without the oral steroid to further compromise his weak immune system.

Knitting gives me an outward appearance of calm in such moments. My mind can't race and I can't verbalize every panic that hits my head when I'm counting my sl2-k1-p2ss0's. It's perfect concentration to ease my worry. Last time the kids all got the flu, twice, I taught myself cables. I can't weave when they are sick, because it needs to be portable enough to go on the bed with us. Weaving has the same calming effect.