Home Again

It's an uphill battle, particularly in two pairs of crocs! I came home a few days ago, went back to my parents to visit with an uncle who came in from England for a last visit with my father, and then returned again. I've slept a few good nights, cleaned a thin layer of grime from floors and counter tops and am now contemplating restoring our gardens.

It's strange, this reintroduction to my normal life. I feel as if I've been in a time warp for the past few weeks. While my father is improving physically in many ways, he still has little to no voice. Communication is frustrating and painful, he's taken to writing a few things out on a white board or note pad.

He did have a good visit with his younger half-brother, they shared many things about their lives, bragged about their grandchildren and made connections they hadn't made in the past. They weren't raised together, they shared a father, but my father was away at boarding school when my uncle was born. He didn't learn of my dad's existence until he was 11 or so and my father graduated with his PhD. The 1930s were difficult time to be divorced in England. They've grown closer over the years and I know my uncle was pleased he made the trip out. My father really rallied his strength over the three day visit to speak, get dressed and be sociable.

My brother-in-law, the doctor and favorite child, is with them now. He will be administering the antibiotic on schedule and working his shifts at Northwestern's ER. I'll go back out in a week's time, after getting some rest. And allowing my mother to get some rest from me. My sister came from New York for the latter part of last week. We are all pitching in as best we can, this whole miserable decline has really brought us closer together as siblings.

I need to learn to balance my responsibilities better, must get more organized. I have my calendar now on Google, so I can access it from any computer. Cell phone access might be better. And I need to learn to be as patient with my children as I am with my mother. Not being very good at temperance, I've surprised myself with my ability not to argue with her unreasonableness and work with her dementia to get simple tasks accomplished. I think it's possible that you never realize how much you love your parents until they are dying.